Monday, October 19, 2009
The Days go Byit's been 9 weeks since we broke and I dived into endless partying, meeting people, and generally steam-rolling through life. It's been fun and tough at the same time... although i complain a lot publicly about most things i generally keep some things in. Feelings, exasperations, and mostly anxiety and frustrations. There are good days and there are bad days. I'm pretty much a steamroller; i don't wallow in self-pity, and try not to dwell on the past so much. I guess that's how i survive. It's not really true that i "move on" really quickly; i just keep moving. I'll just speed along until things catch up to me. And that's how I deal with things.
The last 3 days, I missed her quite a bit. Doesn't help that my parents keep wondering about what happened and can't accept that we split up so suddenly, and when we were so close to committing to each other for the rest of our lives. And you know how my dad gets... he repeats and repeats the same thing over and over again... and it's not easy trying to ignore it or forget her.
The good news is I've gotten a part time job, and there is hope that NUS may hire me again in January. So by February I'll be able to start saving up for next year's school fees and living expenses, as well as hopefully pay off some personal debts. I've been writing... somewhat. and that's a good thing too. I want to get things over and done with for my Phd asap so that i can start earning some decent wage. After all, i look at it as an extended period of training before i actually get the job i've sacrificed so much for.
i miss you
