Friday, March 30, 2007
WHAT THE FUCK.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
The Attainable Tong-ian Checklist
A Comprehensive checklist to your evolution to the dark side of the force.
This lists the do-able tasks you must undertake to become a full-fledged Tong-ian
(biological incidences of the small hand variety are considered un-doable).
1. Study Sociology/Anthropology - a
2. Major in Sociology of Religion - a
3. Learn the native call ... "Ooorrrrhhhhh!" - a
4. Drink at the Guild almost everyday from 5pm - a
5. Get a pinched nerve that renders your left arm totally useless - a
6. Blame everyone around you for your pinched nerve - a
7. Become Dean. Get kicked out of dean's office
8. Take students salsa "dancing"
9. Send people to do your fieldwork, publish, then bitch about people who critique you for it.
10. Be a single-handicapper
Oh no!!! Fuck man, I'm on my way... this KNN pinched nerve! It's all Grace's fault... make me carry her stuff *grumble...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
In the words of AN-Nette, 300 was h'awesome. Andrea kept asking me why, why, O why did he missss??? (Ok, she didn't really say why, O why. I added the 'O' to replace the umpf. Ok she didn't really use umpf either.) I kept saying "Cos it was symbolic." Symbolic that Xerxes, I-am-the-so-totally-gay-god, can bleed? Guess that wasn't a real good reason. Throughout the show I was like hey look, it's Faramir! But noone paid attention. They kept saying shhh. Hmpf.
At 7am this morning, I spent 20 minutes trying to cough up this farking piece of phlegm stuck in my throat... nah beh, my dad thought i was trying to cough up my liver, and i think i woke my mum with all the ruckus. I need to be well. Think i need a prescription for more Glenmorangie. hmmmm.... single malt....
Tomorrow, I think i shall ask Crys if she is feeling better. She looked pretty down the last time I saw her.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
It's been a hard week:
So gimme your ball and a hug too, thanks
Let's see... i'm eating sausage mcmuffin with egg MEAL.. in my office, on a Tueday. Why is it these fukwits don't have sausage mcmuffin withOUT egg MEAL? Do they feel it's the sin of omission or what?? Got damn it i like my sausage mcmuffin pure. I'm a purist when it comes to food. I eat things pure. That is, purely junk. Am I making sense (of society)? Can you tell that i've been in the office too much? I need a vacation. I need sunday morning. Where O Where has my sunday gone? Bloody Arsenal lost again... fucking Aliah-dee-air missed an absolute sitter. Cock head! Fucking commentator can't even pronounce him name some more. Very difficult MEH?? Useless!... but at least Andy Johnson scored. Always a dilemma for me when they play Everton (cos they're my fav "underdog" team). *sigh
But i digress. Reminds me of the time my uncle who is rather gay-ish and into low carbo diet (although these days he's lapsed into being more realistic) wanted to buy chicken rice and he said he only wanted chicken no rice. The Chicken rice guy (henceforth referred to as "Chickie") wanted to charge him $4 and give him a plate of chicken, but my uncle said "no, just the $2.50 chicken rice, same amount of chicken, even if it's 3 small pieces, that's fine. Just no rice." And Chickie didn't want to sell it to him. I'm like... wtf right? So he said ok, just give me the $2.50 chicken rice. When my uncle got his order, he took an empty bowl, put his 4 pieces of chicken inside, and chucked the rice back in Chickie's face and said "nah, you waste rice, you throw for me." Damn fool!
So ya, then point is, they should have sausage mcmuffin MEAL ... and hold the egg.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Went for a conference this weekend. It was a really good symposium on Religion. So good even my ex-principal
Sr. Maria Lau was there. I asked her if she remembered calling me from one end of the corridor to the
other where she was, just so i could pick up a piece to paper
next to
her foot. Yeah, i carry a grudge...
Scum!Anyway... there was this guy was into
Academic S&M... by that i mean, he kept asking the stupidest questions, but kept thinking he was
SO brilliant. He kept harping on Margaret Chan's presentation of
Tang Ki, by saying "why you never operationalize the term 'higher education'" because she used the Singapore Census to show that there was a
correlation between those deemed "lower education" and those who practice
Tang Ki. You COCK! Obviously she's not saying only stupid people practice
tang ki, she's making an astute demographic observation!
IDIOT! Poor Margaret was so exasperated and had to repeat herself (cos he asked the question not once but twice). Despite the audience laughing at his obvious stupidity, he asked for
more questions on his presentation, then proceeded to NOT answer the question but telling a really uninteresting story that might as well have been about
Do-Re-Mi elves.
Wa lau. If it were me i'd have been on him like he was a grain of rice in a paper cup in a snowstorm.
TSK.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Read about some idiots who were complaining on
ST and
STOMP about this couple making out in the MRT. And the primary squeeler was some guy called
Mr Mohammad. I shan't even bother making an obvious observation here.
(Let's not even get into the fact that he said rather bigottedly "I worked in the States for 5 years and this is common there... but we should not allow it to happen here." Let me guess... pure and conservative "Asian" Values versus "decadent Western" values? Jesus Christ, save me now.)I mean, what the heck lah? How is
that news? We're beginning to sound more and more like a small town in freakin Wisconsin (no offence to Wisconians). You know, headlines like
"Mrs Mason drops wedding ring in drain: Plumber Piper saves the day." I mean, come on for fuck's -
if not God's - sake, it's like we've been so devoid of vocalizing anything politically meaningful for so many years that mundane things like kids making out in trains and cinemas are becoming something for the ministers to attend to.
What happened to the good old days of elders keeping juniors in line? If a child misbehaves, just fuck him! I grabbed one by the arm once because he kept hitting me on the head with his balloon in mac's. i guess his mum was blowing someone off at the other end of the restaurant. I was
damn patient. The
third time he hit me i grabbed him firmly by the arm, dragged him closer, and said calmly and loudly in his ear: "
Do that again, and I will DESTROY you." He dropped his balloon and never came back. One teen was fucking around on the escalator and causing me and everyone behind me grief so i screamed "
IDIOT!". And he scurried off. Of course, you pick your battles. Fucking someone from a bunch of
ah beng gangsters is just stupidity, not discipline. Leave that kind of control to the cops or another
ah beng gang.
Turning this sorta thing into something newsworthy, is not only an issue of "
oh we can't be politically active so we find an alternative", but it's degraded to the fact that many Singaporeans have evolved subconsciously to
actually believe that such issues are politically important. Please folks, wake up your ideas lah. Forget all these
noisy shiny crap. When you encounter such things, just look away or deal with it. Don't waste newspaper ink. In the words of my army RSM,
Let them know who's in charge.
When in doubt, just fuck.
Read about some idiots who were complaining on ST and STOMP about this couple making out in the MRT. And the primary squeeler was some guy called Mr Mohammad. I shan't even bother making an obvious observation here. (Let's not even get into the fact that he said rather bigottedly "I worked in the States for 5 years and this is common there... but we should not allow it to happen here." Let me guess... pure and conservative "Asian" Values versus "decadent Western" values? Jesus Christ, save me now.)
