Monday, September 07, 2009
It's been a month. I really miss you. It's stupid, I know. I can't understand why I have to keep putting you through this to realise that you are and always were the one for me. But i know that I'm not the one for you, cos I cannot be the man that you want me to be. Karen said "If you can't be the man for her, then don't be the man she doesn't want you to be". In other words, be gracious and let you go. Don't be around, don't bug you, don't cling on. You're right. You're not a yoyo. But I've been thinking so much this past month, and I realise that I love you like I've never loved anyone else. And that even when we had our "rational discussion" we started off on a wrong premise. Breaking up should never have been an option. I feel now more than ever that I am ready to be with you... but I know that words are cheap. We've been down this road before, and it ended the same way.
I don't know what assurances to give you. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. Please at least talk to me. And if you don't reply, I'll know that I've lost you for good. And I'm sorry for putting you through all this shit.